Snapshots

No Foolin’! Josiah is One Year Old!

Thu, 1 Apr 2010 23:27:43 -0400

Josiah James turned one in February, but his wobbly attempts to walk left him too bruised for one year photographs. We had to wait until March, but we think Jo Jo’s one year pics were well worth the wait. Check them out here to see if you agree.

A Covenant With His Eyes

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 22:52:44 -0500

Yesterday I took the whole family to see a movie—a big deal for a family of seven. We managed to get to the theater on time and find great seats. That’s also unusual for a family of seven. As we sat there waiting for the thirty-five movie previews to conclude so that the feature presentation could begin, the inevitable happened. Yes, one of those thirty-five movie previews featured a seemingly endless parade of bikini-clad young women.
I did my best to look somewhere other than the screen, and I uncomfortably wondered how my children were reacting to what they were seeing. I was especially concerned about my teenage boys. At nearly fifteen, David is becoming more aware of the opposite sex, and I want to be sure he’s equipped to deal with the inevitable temptation toward lust.
We talk pretty openly about sex in our family. We teach them that sex is a wonderful thing designed by God to be shared between a husband and wife. We teach them that their virginity is a precious gift to be given only to their husband or wife on their wedding night. We contrast that with how sex is portrayed in our culture, and try to show them how most of what passes for sexy in our culture depends on seeing people as objects rather than as people. We pray that it will all sink in.
So as the bikini-clad women were dancing on screen, I looked down the row to see how my boys were reacting. I was pleased to see David looking down toward the floor rather than ogling the women on the screen. I would not have condemned him if he had been ogling those women, but I cannot tell you how proud I was to see that he was not.
After the movie, I praised David to my wife, telling her how I had seen him averting his eyes during that preview. He was actually surprised that I thought it was such a big deal! At this point, David is simply doing what he has been taught to do and what I pray he has seen his father do more often than not. He doesn’t know it yet, but how he looks at women today is a good indication of how he will look at them when he is married, and if he continues to do as he did yesterday, his wife will know that he only has eyes for her.
Lord, may my sons make a covenant with their eyes not to look lustfully at women (Job 31:1), and help their father do the same. Let the passion we have for our wives be all the more precious because it is directed only toward them. Amen.

Neither Timing Nor Luck

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 15:12:15 -0500

The other day I was driving in the car by myself and listening to a song by Michael Bublé entitled Haven’t Met You Yet. It’s a cheerful, upbeat song in which the singer expresses hope that in spite of past breakups and heartbreaks, the right woman is out there waiting for him. He just hasn’t met her yet.
In the second verse, Bublé waxes philosophical—at least as philosophical as one can get in a three minute song:
I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it’s half timing, and the other half’s luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it’s right,
You’ll come outta nowhere and into my life.
When I heard the line about meeting the love of one’s life being “half timing” and “half luck,” I actually started to get choked up. (I do that more and more these days. I’m not sure if it’s middle-aged sentimentality or some kind of male equivalent to menopause.) Whatever the reason for my growing tendency toward weepiness, the reason I got misty-eyed when I heard that particular line is because I know meeting the love of one’s life has nothing to do with timing or luck. As far as I’m concerned, it has everything to do with God.
I see God’s hand in the way he led Lisa and I to each other, and by His grace we have enjoyed a happiness together far beyond anything I could ever have asked or imagined (Ephesians 3:20). When I’m apart from her, I feel like I am only half myself, and when I’m with her, I know I’m where I belong. One doesn’t discover a love like that by accident or coincidence. Such love stories are written—written by the One who knows love better than Shakespeare, Austen, or Browning could ever dream.
I will forever be grateful to God for writing me into this love story and giving me the girl of my dreams. Like Bublé, I had to wait a little while, but God’s providence and timing were definitely worth the wait.

My Trophy Wife

Sat, 9 Jan 2010 23:41:03 -0500

Today is Lisa’s birthday. I won’t divulge how old she is, but she’s a little more than a year older than I am. This means that for a few months out of the year I get to tease her about being two years older than me. Yet if you look at the two of us together, you would never guess that I’m the younger of the two. While each year I look older and grayer, this woman simply refuses to age. I kid her that each year she looks increasingly like the trophy wife of a much older man. That’s especially true when we just have the baby with us. People who see us without the older children assume that Jo Jo is Lisa’s first child, and they’re always incredulous when they discover that he is her fifth. How, they wonder, could she possibly be old enough to have had five children!
Don’t ask me what Lisa’s secret is. Perhaps having babies has preserved her youthful appearance. Maybe it’s just good clean living, and I’m an example of what happens when you don’t eat enough green vegetables. Or perhaps I’m her Picture of Dorian Gray—each year I age so that she will not! Whatever her secret, I’m the only man I know whose trophy wife is older than he is.
Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. I love you.

A Story of Genuine Discipleship

Sun, 3 Jan 2010 21:59:13 -0500

Today we attended the local satellite of a large church we attended years ago. We were pleasantly surprised to find that they were honoring one of the pastors on the occasion of his twentieth anniversary with the church. Vernon Rainwater is the youth and worship pastor at Northland church, and he’s been a dear friend since I was one of his interns one summer home from college. As part of their tribute, the church has set up a website where people can tell stories about how Vernon has influenced them. Here’s the story I posted:
In the summer of 1990, I had the privilege of working with Vernon as a student intern while home from college. Part of that involved meeting with Vernon one on one each week. One week I arrived to find Vernon agitated and grabbing his keys. He told me to come with him as he had something he needed to do. It was not until I was riding away in the car with him that he explained where we were going. Apparently there was a woman who was a part of the Northland body who was having an extramarital affair. We were going to a local restaurant to talk with her.
My first thought was, “Hey, I’m not sure I signed on for this!” But I figured this was part of the ugly reality of ministry and Vernon was giving me an opportunity to learn from his example.
We arrived at the restaurant to find that the couple had already left. I tried not to feel too relieved!
As Vernon drove me back to the church, he talked candidly about the devastating consequences of marital unfaithfulness. I remember him mentioning a Christian businessman who had placed a photo of his mistress on his office desk next to a photo of his family. When Vernon asked him about it, the man told Vernon that he was no longer sure God exists. I remember Vernon expressing bewilderment at how someone could question his belief in God simply because he had “stuck his [privates] where they didn’t belong.”
While this conversation wasn’t particularly comfortable and was far from the typical “discipleship” meeting, I will never forget it. I was impressed with Vernon’s willingness to face an uncomfortable situation in order to confront someone’s sin. I was impressed with his willingness to bring me along so that I could learn what real ministry is all about. And I was impressed with his candor and passion for the purity of God’s people. The negative examples he discussed were a powerful warning against the deceitfulness of sin and how we can let it shipwreck our faith.
Thank you, Vernon, for being real and showing me that genuine discipleship is bringing someone along with you to face the everyday realities of Christian life and ministry. I’m a better man for having been taught by you.

Santa Baby!

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 12:03:07 -0500

It’s the day after Christmas, and like many people, I’m a little sad that it’s all over. I’m especially saddened to think that we’ll have to retire the little Santa outfit Jo Jo has been wearing. You can’t very well wear such things after December 25, and he’ll be too big for it next year, so I’m afraid we’ve seen the last of our little Santa Baby. Still, it was fun while it lasted, and he was a right jolly little elf.

Christmas Photos 2009

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:32:52 -0500

This year’s Christmas photos were relatively easy considering the fact that we added a 10-month old baby to the mix. You do your best to schedule the appointment for a time when you think the baby will be well rested and happy, but it never quite seems to work out as planned. That morning Jo Jo would not go down for a nap, so he was sleeping soundly once we arrived at the photographer. We had to wake him, but the photographer did an excellent job of keeping him content, if not entirely happy. The only shot he simply would not cooperate with was the shot of his sisters kissing him on the cheek. Personally, it’s one of my favorites. You can see them all here.

Questioning Calvinism

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 22:53:35 -0400

Last night, just before bedtime, my fourteen year old son, David, approached me and said, “Dad, you really like John Calvin, right?” I said I did. He then explained that he was learning about the five points of Calvinism and that he wasn’t so sure he agrees with the last two points.
For those of you who need a refresher on the five points of Calvinism, they weren’t actually enumerated by Calvin himself, but by later Calvinist theologians who were responding to five objections raised by an opposing group. To help people remember these five Calvinist assertions, they were eventually put into the form of an acrostic:
T Total Depravity
U Unconditional Election
L Limited Atonement
I Irresistible Grace
P Perseverance of the Saints
These “doctrines of grace” are indeed difficult ideas to swallow, particularly in the way they are phrased in the acrostic. We therefore had a good discussion about what each of these doctrines really means, and I tried to explain them in a way that was winsome and not overly technical.
The content of the discussion is not nearly as important as the way it was begun. This was not a case of Dad sitting the family down and saying, “Tonight let’s discuss Calvinist theology.” Rather, it was the son raising questions about something he suspected Dad believes. I love that, because it shows that David is thinking deeply about the things he learns and trying to work out whether he really agrees with them. I don’t mind my son challenging the truthfulness of what I believe because it is the only way he will ever come to know whether it really is true. I thank God that he’s asking tough questions and voicing his own opinions. If he never did so, that’s when I would start to worry.

Ring Around the Rosie

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:16:15 -0400

Here’s proof that you’re never too young or too old for children’s nursery rhymes.

A Quarter Century with Christ

Sun, 9 Aug 2009 17:34:26 -0400

Today is a day for celebration. Unfortunately, all I want to do is sleep. You see, today I sent off the manuscript for the book which has been consuming me for months. Way past deadline, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends trying to get it finished. Now that it’s done, I’m eager to celebrate … after I catch up on some sleep!
But I have a far more significant reason to celebrate today. It was on this day, twenty-five years ago, that I put my trust in Christ as my Savior and Lord. That moment everything changed, and I am eternally grateful for it. Here’s a brief account of what happened:
Love on the Docks
On this night twenty-five years ago, I sat on the edge of a dock looking out at the waters of a small lake. I had come there on a retreat with a friend’s church youth group. Not brought up in the church, I didn’t have any preconceived notions about how to pray, so I just began pouring my heart out to God: confessing my sin, my futile self-reliance, and all the reasons I was unworthy to come to Him. I understood that I was sinner, and I was keenly aware of my need for God.
There is a famous quote, variously attributed to Pascal, Augustine, or Ambrose, which says, “There is a God-shaped vacuum inside each of us which only God can fill.” For me, that vacuum was all too real and palpable. As I sat there praying to God, I remember looking up at the vastness of the night sky and clearly sensing that He was there all around me, filling every space—every space except for the tiny insignificant void inside of me. Then it dawned on me that in His divine greed, He wanted to fill that space too!
While I can remember the perceptions and emotions of that night quite clearly, I recall almost nothing of the things I actually said in that prayer. The only thing I do remember saying is this: “God, I don’t know what kind of servant I’m going to be for you, but I want to the best I can be.” That moment when I spoke those words is the closest I think I’ve ever gotten to genuine humility. My pride was broken, my vanity spent, I knew I had nothing to offer. And yet, somehow, I knew that God wanted all of me, and I wanted nothing more than to be of some use for Him.
As I got up from the dock and headed off to bed that night, I remember feeling as if an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had just been freed from the burden of my sin, and all the separation, guilt, anxiety, and utter loneliness that go with it. That night, my step was light, and my heart was full.
But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. (Titus 3:4-7)